People say life is short, even that it’s too short. “Life’s too short to waste time with people you don’t like.” “Life’s too short so eat dessert first.”
For one, life’s not short. It’s long and getting longer. It used to be common for women to die in their twenties in childbirth. Now that’s pretty rare, at least in industrialized nations. In 2009, it’s common for women to live past 100.
Have you seen the Today show? They have a segment wishing people, “Happy 100th Birthday!” Every weekday, Willard Scott announces the names of people who have lived to be 100. People turn 100 all the time.
100 years seems like a long time, but I suppose it’s all relative. Compared to the estimated age of the earth, 4.5 billion years, 100 years is a brief moment. But really, is anyone interested in living for a billion years? Eventually, you solve every possible crossword and every imaginable sudoku and you get seriously bored. Really, even vampires have to get tired of life after 60 million years. Drinking blood for seven digits has to be Hell.
Back to that old line about life being too short to spend with people you hate, I think that’s backwards. In reality, life’s too long for people you hate. I think I’d be a funny old person. If I didn’t like someone, I’d say, “I got tired of you 57 years ago.”
That’s got to be one of the all-time great reasons to be a fruit fly. They have a lifespan of about two weeks. Two weeks?!?! You’d never make any enemies. You know if that guy at school or at work that you hate only had two weeks left, you’d be living it up. You might even get the dude a donut. Saying, “enjoy the powdered sugar” while thinking, “never have to look at your sorry face again.”