A Life Eternal

Hey all,

I just wrote a poem and I really need your feedback. Benedictine is having a Poetry Slam on Friday night and I want to share my work. Check it out and tell me what you think.

A Life Eternal

We were dead before we lived

We will live after we die

A life eternal

Awaits each mortal

Hell lies as a place of ambush

A trap set for the neglectful

A fire fueled by men and stones

A melancholy of infinite sadness

A place where there is nothing to drink

But a boiling tea of pus

Nothing to eat

But a thorny fruit tasting of brass

Per me si va ne la citta dolente

Through me is the way to the woeful city

No lawyers, no doctors, no admen here

Only pitiful souls united in desolation

At the opposite pole lies Heaven

Vineyards and gardens of delight

Green trees and flowers of every hue

Luscious fruits of every flavor

A place where every desire is fulfilled

And the greatest desire

The longing to see the face of God

Will finally be realized

Young knights and maidens

Lying on couches of ease

Melodies sung by angels

And cups filled with clear wine

Is this nothing but a lie?

Are these ancient fables?

Look into the eyes of a newborn baby

That perfect innocence

That pristine beauty

Then tell me now is all we have.

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